I Love My Penis

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The Monster next to an energy drink.

This Xmas I’m staying home alone, but I won’t get lonely. I have my penis to keep me company.

My penis makes for great company. He doesn’t say much, but his actions speak louder than words.

My penis generally stays out-of-the-way, poking his cute little head up now and then looking for some attention.

My penis is definitely a nudist. He really likes going outside and basking in the warm sun.

My penis really enjoys helping out in the kitchen. He likes to add his own special topping to my food.

My penis is definitely an attention whore. Never too shy for a camera, and always flirting with the ladies.

Me and my penis get along quite well. We are inseparable, and have been since birth.

Yeah, my penis and I are going to have some good quality bonding time together this Xmas.

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